Mr Church decides it's his time to leave the school as none of his pupils seem interested; however the arrival of a new, young, French teacher has him changing his mind. However, the new teacher is catching the eye of all the staff room. Meanwhile, the pupils decide to play a prank on Mr Barber, with a slightly imaginative picture.
The school decides to hold a staff talent show, however some of the staffs 'talents' are not as amazing as hoped. Mr Church decides that if he performs with Miss Postern they may get 'closer'. Meanwhile, the students decide to play judge, giving the best Simon Cowell impression they can muster when commenting on the quality of the teachers acts.
Miss Postern is landed with running the draughts club and suggests merging with Mr Church's chess club, creating the school's first 'chaughts' club. She goes to his place to discuss a merger and watch Strictly, but Mr Church is about to regret his first attempt at social networking. Meanwhile, a drugs scandal looms when Mr Gunn is seen with a dealer.
Miss Postern warns the other teachers to be careful around troubled student Josh, whose mother has run off and divorced his father. Mr Church is fired from the job as theatre critic for the school, and so Miss Postern has to watch Mrs Klebb's production of "Juliet & Romeo", taking Josh's dad with her. Could Mr Church be... jealous?.
Miss Postern puts herself down for an Ironman competition, but realizes all too late what is involved. Mr Gunn offers to help her train, and Mr Church tags along, taking an unusual interest in PE suddenly. Mrs Klebb tries to stop violence at school. But the teachers aren't listening. Meanwhile, Mr Barber has taught the wrong Geography course.
Mr Church wants be involved with Miss Postern's school trip to France, but with there being no places left he needs to find a way to get on the coach.