Langley Falls has the chance to acquire an Arena Football team & Stan is gun-hoe about building a stadium until he realizes it will destroy his "father" who happens to be a tree.
Meanwhile, Steve is so concerned he has stopped growing, he seeks advice from Klaus.
Realizing the only way he'll touch boobs is acquiring a varsity letterman jacket, Steve joins the water polo team, however he stinks until Klaus steps in and takes control.
Jeff & Klaus go in search of what turned "Happy Hayley" into such a downer after Dr. Penguin hypnotizes Hayley into thinking she's a six year old again.
While visiting Stan at the CIA, Steve gets recruited by the NSA.
Meanwhile, Roger convinces Hayley to abandon her vegan ways for a day & embrace her carnivore side.
Stan goes undercover as a surfer. Meanwhile, Steve strikes up a friendship with a drifter; Hayley might be pregnant; and Roger is determined to bring the World Cup to his backyard.
Stan worries he & Francine have nothing in common so he buys her 81 baseball tickets. His worries escalate when they share a failed romantic moment on the kiss cam.
Meanwhile Roger is reminded he is a state legislator for Carson City Nevada who needs to pass a clean water bill.
Stan is chosen to create the C.I.A'.s calendar, a task in which Stan takes seriously so Hayley decides to rekindle and old grudge and she vows to destroy his creation.
Meanwhile, Roger gets a Discovery credit card and fakes his own death instead of paying the bill.
After Roger eats all of Steve's charity chocolate, Principal Lewis sends Steve to the 'At-Risk' class. Roger shows up to be the new teacher to prove to Steve he isn't selfish.
Meanwhile, Stan spends the night at a retirement facility just to see how he likes it.
Francine sets out to help news anchor Greg when he and Terry split up. Roger becomes obsessed with a fictional boy from an old game called Dream Phone.
Stan, tattooed and haunted, travels a barren Langley Falls alone. Meanwhile, a mysterious element known as -The Two Hundred- has reigned terror on the town and separated Stan from his family.
Steve and Snot alter their futures when they throw a party for the uncool kids. Meanwhile, Roger is disgruntled when a waitress doesn't-t compliment his order, and Stan and Francine go on vacation in Bosnia.
Roger loses his identity after becoming fascinated by a local dentist's wife.
Meanwhile, Klaus throws a party when Stan and the kids are unable to move from being sore after working out.
When Stan is on a mission, Francine pretends she'-s a widow.
Also, Steve and his friends play wrestling and get beat up by Principal Lewis.
Francine joins in on Steve and his pals- live-action role-playing game.
Meanwhile, Stan opens a knock-off Seaworld in the house.
Stan loses his faith in religion after Steve questions everything in the Bible so he takes the family to Korea to investigate the rumors of a reinvented -Noah'-s Ark.
Everyone is separated after the ship explodes: Stan and Francine lose their memories and resort to primitive living on an island; Hayley and Jeff are rescued by the Navy and Jeff decides to enlist; and Roger and Steve try to survive on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.
When Roger breaks his ankle, Francine convinces Stan to let him play in his basketball league.
Meanwhile, Steve sings a song that parodies R. Kelleyi-s "Trapped in the Closet".
When Stan discovers a salt mine in the backyard, the Morton Salt Company wants to buy it. It turns out Steve is the rightful owner of the land, and he faces pressure from the family to sell.
In order to teach Hayley a few things about history, Stan uses CIA tech to bring President Garfield back to life.
Meanwhile Steve volunteers to write for his school paper.
When someone doesn't bring a Secret Santa gift, Bullock sends Stan on a mission to find out who the perpetrator was.
Meanwhile Steve attempts to up his popularity by posing as the 'good guy' boyfriend for his female classmates.
In an attempt to bond, Stan takes Steve bowling & is surprised by his natural talent.
Meanwhile, Klaus has Roger & Hayley compete to see who has the smallest attention span.
To prevent from being sent on a suicide mission, Stan challenges Bullock to a DJ battle.
Meanwhile, Roger helps Jeff build imaginary musical instruments after they drink to much psychedelic tea.