When Steve is selected to sing the national anthem at the Langley Falls Veterans' Day celebration, he gets some heat from Stan who doesn't think he's ready for such an undertaking. Unimpressed with Steve's vocal talents, Stan decides Steve needs to experience real war in order to sing about our country's military prowess. But things quickly go south when Roger gets involved and Steve goes bananas.
In order to get a promotion at work, Stan has to convince the dictator of Isla Island to sign a treaty. Stan meets the general and accidentally kills him and has Roger pose as the leader of the small island nation. Meanwhile, Steve and Snot become competitive to see who can get farther with the other's mom.
Steve is left home as the family plan a trip to Boston hoping to locate a college for Hayley. When his friends arrive they convince him to break the rules, resulting in them finding the controls to a military drone in Stan's study.
Francine teaches Roger to be self-sufficient so he can get his own place; at camp, Steve and his friends fall prey to a scheme.
Steve must become the man of the house when Stan re-lives his childhood.
Upset that Francine has let herself go, Stan takes drastic measures when she asks him to renew their wedding vows.
When Hayley goes to a My Morning Jacket concert against Stan's wishes, he crashes the show to bring her back home, but when he hears their music for the first time, it calls to him and he's smitten. Stan becomes obsessed with the band and decides to follow them on the road as a groupie.
Upset that Hayley no longer wants his advice, Stan decides to prove that she is missing out on his sage counseling. After meeting a stripper on an important CIA mission, Stan takes it upon himself to improve her life and show Hayley that his advice works. But when he opens a new business, hoping to prove Hayley wrong, he finds himself dancing for cash to cover up his failures.
When the Smith family goes to church on Christmas Day, Stan is furious when he can't get a good seat. While Francine tries to ease his frustration, a moment of divine intervention occurs. Upset that he has been left on earth with Francine during the ultimate fight between good and evil, Stan ditches his wife to get into the pearly gates of heaven, but when Francine is kidnapped, Stan fights to get her back.
When Stan gets told by Francine to get rid of his gas-guzzling SUV, he and Roger hatch up a plan at the local horse track to avoid losing his car. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends help an old friend.
Stan puts down liberal social programs because he thinks they are a waste of money and gives Francine a hard time for lending a helping hand at the local homeless shelter. When Stan develops a nasty addiction and needs help, he suddenly has a change of heart.
Stan gives Francine "love coupons" for Valentine's Day, but refuses to honor them once he becomes preoccupied with his very own CIA cyborg. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve and his friends remake a classic '80s movie.
When Stan admits that his heroes include the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team, Roger confesses that he played on the team; Reginald tries to win over Hayley by taking her to a concert.
After Roger and Francine are victims of a mugging, Roger joins the police academy so he can learn how to defend himself and his loved ones (including Stan and Steve), but he falls in with a corrupt cop (guest voice Cannavale) who leads him astray. Meanwhile, Hayley's new friendship threatens her long-term relationship. Chaz kidnaps and leaves Stan tied up and tape-gagged. Meanwhile, Roger kills Chaz and rescues Stan, who makes his boss happy.
When Roger and Francine go wine-tasting, Roger plants a big kiss on Francine in a drunken moment. Francine decides to tell Stan about this incident, but when they sit down to talk, Roger convinces Stan that Francine started it all.
Roger studies crime scene photography; Stan bullies Steve in hopes of toughening him up.
In preparation for a neighborhood pool party, Stan tells his family to get in tip-top shape.
It's Roger's birthday, and he begs to be roasted, but when he ends up devastated by the jokes, he vows to pull his life together.