Homer gets into trouble with football gambling debts. As compensation, Fat Tony wants to use the Simpson home for shooting the adult film Lemony Lickit: A Series of Horny Events. Homer gets Marge and the kids to leave the house by sending them off to Santas Village. Marge and the kids return home to find the production is still underway. Marge, outraged by Homers latest bit of idiocy, leaves. Homer, home alone with the kids tries to figure out what to do next. Just when Marge is about ready to reconcile with Homer, she encounters Caleb Thorn, a good looking scientist with a passion for saving the endangered manatee. Homer and the kids go on a quest to find Marge and they stop and stay with some country cousins, meanwhile Marge is finding herself while helping to save manatees. Homer tries to win Marge back by save a herd of manatees from a gang of jet skiers. His effort pays off as Marge takes home the endangered species of her own, the endangered devoted husband. The family decides to take a mini-vacation and Homer gets a manatee sent to the power plant to fill in for his job for the next few days.
The noise of early morning construction next door is keeping the family awake; there is a new stamp museum under construction. The family successfully leads a protest that gets the stamp museum moved to the site of the old graveyard; the old graveyard in turn is relocated next to the Simpson home. The site of the graveyard outside her window makes Lisa uncomfortable and scared late one night she runs to her parents bed for comfort. They try to get her back into her own bed, by showing her that they can sleep in her bed. When that doesnt work, they resort to the help of a psychiatrist and she offers them some costly advice. Meanwhile Lisa, who has always had to fend for her self, decides to spend the night in the cemetery and conquer her fears. Lisa gets knocked unconscious and has a hallucination helps her to deal with fear.
Maggie has chicken pox, so Marge throws a "pox party" to help the children of Springfield catch the illness while they are young. During the party, Milhouse's parents get back together. Milhouse does not like this idea, so he and Bart try to break them up. Instead, they break up Marge and Homer.
It is game six of the World Series and Kang and Kodos decide to speed up the play of the game and they fire the acceleray. They shatter the fabric of the universe and everything is destroyed.
B.I.: Bartificial Intelligence
Bart falls into a deep coma from which he will never emerge. Well Bart does wakes from his coma only to find that his family has replaced him with David, a newly developed artificial robot son. Bart struggles to fit back in with his family and Homer and Marge decide they must get rid of one of their sons. They abandoned Bart, but harvesting parts from some abandoned robots he gets his revenge. The robot nightmare only turns out to be a dream when it is revealed that Homer has actually been possessed by the devil.
Survival of the Fattest
Homer and others are invited by Mr. Burns to his estate for A Most Dangerous Game. It turns out that they are participants on The World Series of Manslaughter featuring guest analyst Terry Bradshaw where they are the quarry and Mr. Burns is their hunter. Surprisingly Homer is the last contestant left standing, but it takes Marges intervention to even the score.
Ive Grown a Costume on Your Face
Its the Springfield Semi-Annual Halloween Party but the costume contest goes awry when a real hideous witch turns everyone into real-life versions of their costumes. Lisa, as Einstein, searches for a solution to their problem, but it is up to Maggie, who was dressed as a witch, as the only one with the power to reverse the spell.
Marge buys a tandem bicycle, but Homer doesn't seem to be interested. Bart takes up the offer and him and Marge start to spend a lot more time together. All the while, Homer builds up a massive amount of stregth in one of his arms. Moe then enters him into the arm wrestling championships.
Homer is ready for everyone to shower him with gifts on Fathers Day and Marge and the kids go to the mall to obtain the presents. Lisa decides she is going to make something for her father, while Bart purchases the Leather Buddy multi-function knife. Lisas heartfelt gift doesnt go over as well as Barts knife and Homer doesnt immediately do anything to make Lisa feel any better. Bart sees a street sign with his name on it and the bullies entice him into stealing it. Homer makes a lame attempt at making up to Lisa. At school Lisa goes on a rampage. Citing her father as the cause, Principal Skinner and the school psychologist talk with Homer and Marge about what they can do to prevent Lisa from growing up to hate men. Homer becomes the school safety salamander. His initial pathetic attempts at safety dont change her feelings for her father, until an accident at the intersection of Evergreen Terrace and the unsigned Bart Blvd. The safety salamander rescues all the victims of the accident and Homer is awarded the keycard to the city. Then the mayor comes under fire for the many disasters under his administration and it is decided that a recall election is going to be held. With a number of ridiculous candidates running, Lisa decides that her father, with his popularity as the safety salamander, would be the ideal choice. With Lisa as his campaign manager, everything is going well, until Marge washes his salamander suit. When it shrinks and tears apart is reveals the man underneath, whom nobody is interested in voting for, but at least Homer and Lisa strengthen their relationship. Finally when none of the candidates garner enough votes to take over as mayor, its business as usual in Springfield government.
The mayors estate is used for Springfields Easter celebration, and in the course of the events, Homer embarrasses Marge in front of some new potential friends. To make it up, Homer decides to find her some new friends, with little luck. Marge finds some new friends on her own, Tammy and other members of The Cheery Red Tomatoes, a group of women of a certain age. This group has plans for a fund raiser; they intend to rob Mr. Burns of 1 million dollars, an amount he once promised to charity. Homer finds out about the plan and tries to stop her from doing something shell regret. Meanwhile, Lisa in search of summer opportunities decides to spend the summer in Rome. Lisa tells Principal Skinner that she speaks fluent Italian, since she really doesnt she tries to take a crash course and winds up hiring a tutor that turns out to be Milhouse.
The Simpsons become lost in Italy, finding their way to a small town that Sideshow Bob has become the mayor of.
When Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders are unable to deliver the Christmas sermon, Homer steps in and tells the story of the birth of the baby Jesus (Bart), King Harods (Mr. Burns) attempt to have the baby killed and the creation of the first Christmas tree.
Grandpa relates to Bart and Lisa the story of how in the Navy he and his older brother Cyrus were fighting in the Pacific in World War II. During a battle Cyruss plane is lost and Abe and Mr. Burns (his co-pilot) crash land their own plane. At Christmastime while awaiting rescue, Burns, anxious to shoot at something, shoots down Santa Claus. Abe and Burns help Santa to rebuild his sleigh (only for Burns to later steal.) After Abe gets it back, Santa promises to come back for a follow-up rescue, but never does. After Abe has finished relating the story to the kids, Santa makes his overdue appearance and takes Abe to Tahiti to be reunited with his brother.
The kids at Springfield Elementary perform Perhaps the worst version ever rendition of The Nutcracker ballet according to Superintendent Chalmers. When it is revealed that you dont have to pay for the music rights it leads to a montage of citizens of Springfield going about their usual Christmas activities to the more familiar pieces of music from The Nutcracker, including a sequence where Moe tries to hug himself, and Homer (forgetting as usual) tries to get Marge her present at the last minute.
The result of Marge's anger against Quimbys new toll road leads to the discovery of a frozen mailman and his 40-year-old mail. The old mail is delivered to the recipients, including one to Grampa Simpson's deceased wife, and it reveals a secret love affair and who the real father of her baby Homer might be. Confused and emotional, Homer finds Mason Fairbanks, his wealthy and much improved paternal dad, and happily establishes a father-son relationship with him while rejecting Abe, his surrogate father of 40 years, especially after a DNA test reveals that Mason is indeed his real father. Homer joins Mason on an undersea treasure hunt and when Homers life is in mortal danger he reflects upon his childhood and realizes who his true father is. When he confesses that to Abe, Abe has a confession of his own.
Bart obtains the key to the steam tunnels under the school and with Milhouse they go down to check them out. When Bart turns just one of the little valves they find in the valve room the chain reaction causes chaos throughout the school. Bart is caught and Skinner wants to send him to a discipline camp in Oregon. When Bart cant fly there alone, Homer has to drive him there himself and that is going to cause him to miss the trip to Las Vegas that Moe is sponsoring for all his regular customers. While the boys are gone, Marge and Lisa take some of the boys' old stuff and hold a yard sale, but the only things that sell well are their old medications and that gets her into bit of trouble.
Mr. Krupt is the schools new gym teacher and introduces Bart and the kids to BOMBARDMENT! Barts attempt to get back at the new gym teacher results in the destruction of Groundskeeper Willies shack and the family takes him in. Lisa decides to make Willie the focus of her science fair project and tries to turn him into a proper gentleman with surprising results. Meanwhile, Homer has ruined his last pair of blue pants and attempts to generate interest in them so the manufacturer will start making them again.
The family is on a nature walk through Carls Dad Caverns, when Homer tries to get a piece from a stalactite. This results in the family falling through the cave floor and winds up with Homer getting stuck in the ceiling of one of the lower chambers of the cave. Marge, Bart and Maggie go off to find help, while Lisa stays behind and tells her father a story to pass the time. Her story involves running from a bighorn sheep and into Mr. Burns mansion. The pair evades the tenacious sheep by finding refuge in the mansions attic, where Mr. Burns tells her the story of how he came to work at Moes Tavern by losing a scavenger hunt with a rich Texan. While there he learned (and tells to Lisa) the tale of the Moes treasure. The stories within stories culminate in the fate of the treasure being determined in the cave.
The family is at a church fund-raiser, where Homer tries to ensure his rubber duck onto victory, but Flanders wins the big prize, which he doesnt want and gives it to Marge. In return Marge agrees to watch Rod and Todd while Ned is attending a left-handed convention. While Marge is spending all her time with the Rod and Todd and trying to let them learn how to be boys; Homer takes Bart and Lisa to a home for former celebrity animals and a monkey kidnaps Bart. Marges ability to be a mother comes into question when Ned discovers what she is doing with his boys and the local news covers Barts current predicament.
Homer is stoked for a party, where Lenny shows off his new plasma screen HD TV. Three days later and Homer still hasnt left Lennys apartment. Lenny eventually gets him to leave and Marge enters them in a contest where they can win a plasma TV of their own. They dont win, but 3rd place gets them a tour of the FOX studios, where Homer learns about a wife-swapping show where he can win enough money to buy his own plasma TV. Marge agrees to appear and they exchange wives with the Heathbar family. Charles Heathbar winds up falling in love with Marge (who is giving him what he needs), while his real wife Verity finds Homer detestable.
Homer spearheads the effort to get pro-football to bring a new franchise to Springfield. The football commissioner, on his way to officially award the franchise, stops at the Simpson house where Grandpa (mistaking him for a burglar) attacks him. Springfield loses out and Abe becomes the towns pariah. After trying and failing assisted suicide, Abe decides to live his life without fear and when the town decides to reuse their football stadium as a bullfighting ring, he volunteers to be the toreador. Ever the activist, granddaughter Lisa protests his new profession.
At the power plant a movie is shown where the workers endorse outsourcing and Mr. Burns announces that he is closing the plant and moving the work to India. Homer is the only union employee left on the payroll and he is sent to India to train the replacement workers, when he succeeds beyond expectations, he is given total control of the plant and declares himself a god. Meanwhile, Selma & Patty take Bart and Lisa to their MacGyver convention. When they discover Richard Dean Anderson doesnt like MacGyver and much as they do, they kidnap him in retaliation. Anderson escapes only to enjoy the thrill and he turns himself back in so that he can escape again. When it happens over and over again, soon Patty and Selma are the ones who need a means of escape.
As the family waits for their food at The Frying Dutchman, they pass the time by telling stories. Lisa tells about the Mayflowers journey to America, where Marge and her kids are Pilgrims and they are joined by a knave named Homer who joins their family to escape the authorities. Bart recounts the story of Mutiny on the Bounty featuring Skinner as Captain Bligh and Bart as Mr. Christian. Homer tells the tale of the maiden voyage of a cruise ship in the 1970s featuring of a ship that cant flip over, which of course it does and the attempts of the survivors to get out of the ship alive.
The family attends "Stab-A-Lot: The Itchy and Scratchy Musical." The musical's director is a graduate of Springfield Elementary and Principal Skinner puts his foot in mouth when he makes sexist comments about her education and that of women in general. He tries to make the situation better, but only buries himself deeper and deeper until he is fired and replaced by Women's Educational Expert Melanie Upfoot. The first thing she does is split the school into girls and the boys. Lisa dislikes the way girls are being taught math and she ventures over to the boy's side of the school in search of a challenge. Disguising herself as Jake Boyman she starts attending the boy's school but while she finds the math problems more interesting, it is being a boy that is a greater challenge.
Marge goes on a cleaning frenzy before the housekeeper shes won the services off comes to the house. One spot remains and she mixes a number of toxic cleaners together to tackle the job. The noxious mixture knocks her out and she wakes up suffering from amnesia. Marge is taken home and the family tries to bring back her memory. She starts to get back memories of her children and other insignificant things, but when it comes to remembering her husband, nothing he does seems to jog her memory. When he cant get her to remember him, he tries to win her all over again, especially after Patty and Selma get her back out on the dating scene.
Lisa takes a stand against creationism being the only theory taught at Springfield Elementary.
Homer and Marge offer up martial advice to the Springfield Isotopes struggling first baseman, who is having problems with his pop star wife.