Diane and Sam are spending a romantic evening together, when Coach barges in on them. Diane and Sam are desperate to find Coach his own girlfriend so they can have time for themselves, but the plan backfires when Diane and Sam have to admite that the reason they set Coach up with somebody is that they don't want him hanging around them so much.

The sleepy English village of Little Hodcombe, 1984. The village re-enactment of the English Civil War is in full swing, but a malign alien presence intends the mock-battles to be rather more realistic than planned...