Season 9

s09e01 / Call Waiting

18th Sep '96 - 12:00am
Call Waiting

Roseanne goes on a spiritual odyssey in front of the TV. After walking out on Dan in the heat of anger, Roseanne is now holed up at Jackie's, mesmerized by the sitcom couples she grew up with on That Girl, The Mary Tyler Moore Show and I Dream of Jeannie. Meanwhile, back at the Conner house, Dan is listlessly puttering around fixing things - but he'd rather "fix things" in his marriage. And, much like the TV couples occupying Roseanne's thoughts, Dan and Roseanne just might discover that they're better off together than apart. In the coda, Jackie realizes that they have won 8 million in the state lottery.

387 have watched this episode

s09e02 / Millions from Heaven

25th Sep '96 - 12:00am
Millions from Heaven

The Connors win the biggest lottery payoff in state history but insist they're still "just folks".

387 have watched this episode

s09e03 / What a Day for a Daydream

2nd Oct '96 - 12:00am
What a Day for a Daydream

Newly wealthy Roseanne indulges in daydreams involving Hugh Hefner and an appearance on the Jerry Springer Show in which she imagines her dreams â- and even some of her nightmares â- coming true thanks to the lottery winnings.

386 have watched this episode

s09e04 / Honor Thy Mother

9th Oct '96 - 12:00am
Honor Thy Mother

While Roseanne and Jackie anticipate indulging themselves to unlock their "divine female essence" at a luxury spa, Dan is just plain morose - and finally admits why: nagging worries about a family member, his institutionalized mother.

387 have watched this episode

s09e05 / Someday My Prince Will Come

16th Oct '96 - 12:00am
Someday My Prince Will Come

A Moldavian prince descends on Lanford with one purpose in mind: to romance Jackie. It seems he's developed a royal crush on her after seeing her briefly on TV.

387 have watched this episode

s09e06 / Pampered to a Pulp

23rd Oct '96 - 12:00am
Pampered to a Pulp

Roseanne and Jackie fight the battle of the bulge during their sojourn at a luxury spa, where past-life regression therapy brings out the imagined warrior in Roseanne.

386 have watched this episode

s09e07 / Satan, Darling

30th Oct '96 - 1:00am
Satan, Darling

Absolutely Fabulous glam gals Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley (in character as Edina and Patsy) are among the few down-to-earth participants in Roseanne's outrageous Halloween outing. They're guests at an Upper West Side soirée, where new multimillionaires Roseanne and Jackie have gained entrée into New York society. But for grandmother-to-be Roseanne, a witches' coven soon comes into play â- a la Rosemary's Baby â- and bizarre happenings begin to involve a very pregnant Darlene.

387 have watched this episode

s09e08 / Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti

13th Nov '96 - 1:00am
Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti

A visit with the wealthy Wentworths on Martha's Vineyard gives the Conners a glimpse into new friend Astrid's dysfunctional family. And before long, the Conners are teaching the snobby elitists some truths about real life.

387 have watched this episode

s09e09 / Roseambo

20th Nov '96 - 1:00am

Roseanne battles a group of women-hating terrorists who hold her family and a foreign diplomat hostage on a train to Washington, D.C.

387 have watched this episode

s09e10 / Home is Where the Afghan Is

27th Nov '96 - 1:00am
Home is Where the Afghan Is

The absence of Dan, a series of family squabbles, and a shocking revelation by Bev mar the Conners' first Thanksgiving as a rich and famous family, and they start to realize that money does not necessarily buy happiness.

386 have watched this episode

s09e11 / Mothers and Other Strangers

4th Dec '96 - 1:00am
Mothers and Other Strangers

Bev pays a visit to her free-spirited mom in search of answers, while Roseanne awaits Dan's return with trepidation, fearing he might not recognize the place - or her new look.

386 have watched this episode

s09e12 / Home for the Holidays

18th Dec '96 - 1:00am
Home for the Holidays

After a long stay in California with his mother, Dan returns home for Christmas and he, Roseanne and the rest of the family begin to realize how fortunate they are to have each other and how much they have to be thankful for as the old year ends.

386 have watched this episode

s09e13 / Say It Ain't So

8th Jan '97 - 1:00am
Say It Ain't So

Jackie forces Dan to reveal some devastating news to Roseanne: he's been having an affair in California with a nurse who cared for his mother. Meanwhile, D.J. wants the job of videotaping Darlene giving birth; and Jackie must face a harsh truth about her own love life.

386 have watched this episode

s09e14 / Hit the Road, Jack

15th Jan '97 - 1:00am
Hit the Road, Jack

As Dan packs his bags to leave, Roseanne drowns her sorrows in fast food while driving aimlessly around Lanford, and D.J. finds a soul mate to share his troubles.

387 have watched this episode

s09e15 / The War Room

29th Jan '97 - 1:00am
The War Room

When a heartbroken Roseanne locks herself in her room and won't come out, her family and friends all try in their own unique way to help her get out of her funk. Friends and family try an intervention after they're unable to rouse a listless Roseanne out of bed, where she's been for four days amid piles of junk food, depressed over Dan's affair.

386 have watched this episode

s09e16 / Lanford's Elite

12th Feb '97 - 1:00am
Lanford's Elite

At a party at the swank Lanford Country Club, Roseanne forges a surprising bond with Edgar Wellman, Jr., the son of her hated former boss. When he reveals some shocking news about the future of Lanford, Roseanne realizes she may be the only one who can save her hometown.

386 have watched this episode

s09e17 / Some Enchanted Merger

12th Feb '97 - 1:00am
Some Enchanted Merger

After they wrap up the Wellman Plastics buyout, Roseanne doesn't know what to do when she finds herself deeply attracted to Edgar Wellman, Jr., and realizes that he is equally bewitched by her.

386 have watched this episode

s09e18 / A Second Chance

19th Feb '97 - 1:00am
A Second Chance

Bothered by rumors about Roseanne and "that Wellman guy", Dan sweeps by to take Roseanne out for a ride. Roseanne and Dan begin to take the first tentative steps toward putting their marriage back together. But their reconciliation is disrupted when a frantic call comes in from Jackie: Darlene has been suddenly rushed to the hospital.

386 have watched this episode

s09e19 / The Miracle

26th Feb '97 - 1:00am
The Miracle

When Darlene gives birth to a very premature baby, the doctors offer very little hope for the child's survival. But Roseanne sets out to prove that love, affection and human contact are better than any medicine.

386 have watched this episode

s09e20 / Roseanne-Feld

5th Mar '97 - 1:00am

Jackie and Mark take in a female wrestling match; D.J. is not prepared when he realizes he may be about to have his first sexual experience when a night of watching videos with Heather turns into a night of passion; and Bev introduces Leon and Scott to her new "friend", a boozy lounge singer named Joyce.

386 have watched this episode

s09e21 / The Truth be Told

19th Mar '97 - 1:00am
The Truth be Told

Roseanne learns some truths about the price of fame when two high-powered television programmers bombard her with all sorts of bizarre ideas about how network and cable TV would tell her life story. Roseanne is appalled to learn that one wants to sanitize her life and the other wants to spice it up. At the same time, Bev is happily telling stories about Roseanne to a friendly florist, unaware that he is actually a tabloid reporter.

386 have watched this episode

s09e22 / Arsenic and Old Mom

14th May '97 - 12:00am
Arsenic and Old Mom

Dan's eccentric mom heads straight for Lanford after she's released from hospital, claiming to be cured. Problem is, Dan thinks she's trying to hug him.

386 have watched this episode

s09e23 / Into That Good Night (1)

21st May '97 - 12:00am
Into That Good Night (1)

Darlene and David bring home their new baby. Roseanne's sage advice for her daughter? "The best part is when you can mold their tender little egos to fit your every whim", she says. But the baby's not the only news. When friends and family gather to celebrate the birth, Becky and Mark have a surprising secret - and Leon and Scott make an announcement.

386 have watched this episode

s09e24 / Into That Good Night (2)

21st May '97 - 12:30am
Into That Good Night (2)

Roseanne fans find out much more than they thought they would.

386 have watched this episode
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